Facing Grief

Oh how time flies; I've not had an entry in here since August.  A lot has happened in these past few months and one I'd like to share briefly, although my intent is to elaborate at a later time.  It's late, and my pillow is beckoning me to come and rest.

I would like to preface by acknowledging a dear sister, Luiza S., who blessed me with this book, "Facing Grief."  In August, I had an opportunity to visit my parents, not to mention pick up my daughter who had been visiting my parents.  And in that short time, I was able to visit my home church, Community Bible Church in Vallejo.  In their bookstore, as I perused in their "new arrival" section, I came upon this book.  I briefly read the description on the back and knew I needed to buy it, but I don't think I intended to read it right away. (I was thinking in a year or two.) As I began paying for it, Luiza, who happened to be the cashier that morning, reached into her purse, pulled out her own money and told me she would like me to have it as a gift.  Little did she know that that "small" act of generosity, love and kindness, has helped me in my journey in facing my own grief.

I must confess, although it's been a little over a year, the hurt and pain of losing my daughter is as strong and real as the day she passed away in my arms, I've just been so good at not facing my grief; if I don't acknowledge it, I don't have to face or deal with it.  Oh but what folly!!  God calls us to deal with areas in our life where we need to be dealt with.  And so, last week, I finally picked up the book to read and oh, what joy and tears flooded each page as God spoke to me in the verses that Flavel (the author) shared, along with his own experience in grief.

One thing I didn't realize was that Flavel was born in the 17th century so the tone of his writing is old English.  A bit difficult, at first, if you are not use to reading old English but his exhortations, encouragements, and testimony makes this book hard to put down.

My desire is to share with you a bit of each chapter and testify of God's grace and gentleness in my life as I'm "facing grief."  Until then, God bless and good night!

Keaolani's First Day of School

Today was one of those days that I will never forget - Keaolani's first day of school!

She was excited, I was nervous, and her dad didn't want to face it (her growing up, that is).  Actually we were all excited for this day!  After uniform and school supply shopping, the only thing left was to actually go to school!

Mind you, this was not only Kaykay's first day of school - so was mine.  I prepped days in advance in her meal planning and schedule.  Prepped both her lunch, snacks, and drinks the night before and ironed out her uniform and laid out everything she needed for school, including her back pack.  I set the alarm at 5:30 am and fought to go to sleep.  She had no problem sleeping as she fell asleep soon after dinner.

Woke up today and as I was getting ready, I hear a sweet voicing coming from her room, "Good morning! It's my first day of school!" Surprisingly enough getting all 3 of us ready was uneventful and fairly easy - praying this will be the case every morning!

Kk getting ready for school

 We got to school with several minutes to spare; so while waiting for everyone to arrive, Kk had some time to play around the playground.  When were first greeted by her teacher Mr. Morton, who we hear is one of the the best teachers.  Keaolani ran up to her and greeted her Hawaiian style - with a hug and a kiss.  She then received her temporary ID badge (shown around her neck below.)

In her cute uniform with her temp school ID

I'm glad I got a chance to take a picture of her coming down the slide because I was told by her dad, who teaches at the secondary school (building right next to Kaykay's building), that sliding down the slide was her favorite.  During lunch time, he sneaked a peek while her class had a break and saw her countless times going down the slide.

Her most favorite school activity, for the moment!

I did have a harder time focusing at work bec I often thought about her and wondered if she was doing okay.  I wasted my time worrying because about 4:30 pm I got a call from an excited Keaolani asking she she can go back to school - not sure if she knows for the next 19 years (Lord willing!).

New Beginnings - Rebooting our Systems

I came home one day and Mike was excited to tell me about a movie he had watch on Netflix called, "Fat, Sick, and Almost Dead."  He seemed excited about the movie and what the movie represented - rebooting your body and lifestyle.  It's getting rid of those bad eating habits and "rebooting" your systems with veggies and fruit.  I can tell you about the movie, but would rather encourage you to watch it.

So needless to say, we are taking on the rebooting challenge and today is our actual first day of the program.  It's not a weight loss program, although one of the benefits is weight loss, the program is geared to "reboot" bad eating habits and get rid of the toxins and waste that may linger in your system.

What's encouraging is that Mike has already lost almost 40 lbs before we started the program;  I'll try to update our progress as much as possible.

Celebrating Leiali'i's Life

Yesterday would have been Leiali'i Simone's first birthday.  It melted my heart to hear from family and friends who remembered that special day with us.  I miss my daughter but am really comforted to know she is with Jesus and that some day I will see her again.  In the meantime, I have been given a special task to watch over Keaolani and in that my heart is overwhelmed with joy.  In celebration we ate at one of our favorite restaurants on the island, Kai Market and were joined by close brothers and sisters.


Hau`oli la Hana to our dear daughter..we miss you!

Recap

It's been quite awhile and to be honest, it was intentional; I wanted to take a break post-surgery to reflect and allow myself to rest.  God has been so faithful in giving me peace in all the decisions we've had to make and what an amazing journey it has been.

To recap on my surgery, everything went well.  My parents, sister, and aunt came to help in my recovery and what a blessing that was.  I didn't have to worry about cooking, cleaning, and they kept Keaolani entertained the whole time.  Recovery was surprisingly easy - in comparison to the two c-sections that I've had.  I was able to move around and even went to the beach the day after.. Yes, you read that correctly BUT I didn't go swimming, or exerted myself; I attended a birthday party for a dear sister and just happy that I was able to attend.  I sat most of the time, just enjoyed watching everyone surf and play volleyball.

The pain was minimal and opt to not take any pain medications.  The most painful part was trying not to laugh - people can be so entertaining.

A couple of weeks after, I received a call from my doctor informing me that the pathology came out negative and no cancer was detected.  PRAISE THE LORD!!

Twas the night before my surgery....

Twas the night before my surgery and all thru my mind,
Not a single ounce of worry, not even a whine
I sit on my bed, pondering the faithfulness of God,
My heart can not contain, and breaks forth in laud.

As I look back in the trials I've been so blessed,
I know Christ has died for me; He is my best!
I can rest in His faithfulness and care for me tonight
For nothing is greater than His strength and might

Interestingly enough I didn't plan for a poem or sonnet as I wrote this update; it's been years since I've dabbled in the arena of rhymes but the above verses came so easily that I thought, "hey why not!"

I find myself in another eve before surgery and as I remember the other times I've tried to prepare myself for surgery, I have more peace going into this one.  I can't say that I've fully learned to trust in Christ with all my anxieties, but I can tell you that I've learned to stop fighting His Will.

I had hoped to go into detail of the most recent events but frankly I'm physically worn out; I've been hit with allergies equally in comparison to the ones I've had in the mainland and I'm wiped out.  But I did want to testify in God's faithfulness in giving me direction as to this surgery and also helping me guard my heart and mind from anxieties that would have intensified this trial even more.  To God be the glory!

Happy Resurrection Sunday!

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead" 

I Peter 1:3

The Peace that Surpasses All.....Cancer?

It seems hard to utter the words "peace" and "cancer" in the same sentence; these words are more antagonistic rather than accede to each other but I can testify that, with Christ and only in Christ, can one have peace in the midst of having cancer.

In all honesty, I thought I was done with this word but it seems fitting for God to allow me to once again go thru this trial.  A couple of weeks ago, my doctor ordered me to have an ultrasound as a precaution and if the scan came out normal, I wouldn't have to see my Oncologist but once a year.  It was a blessing in disguise because during that scan, the doctor found 2 tumors in my left ovary; my right ovary was taken out almost 2 years ago because of ovarian cancer.  Unfortunately they can't confirm that this is actually cancer again, but because of my past history, it high probability that it is cancer.

The news was another set back for myself personally as I was ready to close this chapter of my life - the Cancer Chapter - but God has seen fit to allow me to continue this journey.  Although it was devastating initially, God has reminded me that He cares for me.  The very same verses that ministered to my soul during my first episode of cancer and also the passing of my sweet daughter, has comforted and shielded my heart and guarded my mind from things not Christ honoring; the fear, the despair, the frustration was kept at bay by the very words of God.

Not to mention the abundant blessings that are attached to this trial:  One is that  God has lead my doctor to be thorough with initiating the scan itself; she didn't need to but praise God she did, otherwise they would not have detected the tumor.  Another blessing is that the tumor is only less than half an inch big and this is "the earliest they would have been able to detect the tumor." (Direct quote from my doctor.)  Since ovarian cancer is hard to detect until it's too late, this is a miracle in itself.  The third blessing is that Mike and I have been praying about what course of action we needed to take in ensuring my health in regards to possibly the cancer coming back; we had leaned on the side of removing my other ovary as a precaution but wanted to wait on the Lord - well basically He's answered that for us.

On June 3rd (tentatively), I will go under the knife once more - Lord willing the last time - to remove my ovary and possibly my uterus.  I really didn't want to go under the knife again but to ensure and have peace of mind, God has given us the peace to proceed with this procedure.  Thankfully, it will be an out-patient laprascopic type of procedure.   I covet your prayers in wisdom for the doctors and a speedy recovery for myself.  To God be the glory!

Be Still My Soul

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In every change He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake

To guide the future as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know

His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

The above are two stanzas from one of my favorite hymns "Be Still My Soul." Although I can't get into too much detail of what's going on with us right now, I can testify that God is SOVEREIGN!

Below is a snip-it of an article from Spurgeon that my pastor shared with me:

"He can overrule my trials in such a way that out of confusion he will bring order; and from seeming evil, produce lasting good. He who bridles the storm, and puts the bit in the mouth of the tempest, surely he can restrain my trial, and keep my sorrows in subjection."

On set at Hawaii Five-O

Living in Hawaii, there are tons of fun stuff to do - go to the beach, eat A LOT of local grinds, surf, hike, whale watch - but none compare to my recent "hobby" - playing an extra on Hawaii Five-O.  I've had the privilege of being on two episodes.  While my first experience was great, my most recent one was awesome!

My very first episode was episode 11; in this episode McGarrett and Dano track a serial killer who had been killing women that look like his ex-fiance.  The scene was on a cruise ship, although the actual scene was shoot in the lobby of the Kahala Hotel.  McGarrett and Dano are chasing the suspect in the lobby.  Surprisingly I was in 3 of the scenes that were aired.  There were about 40 plus extras that day and Alex O'Loughlin and Scott Caan were the main actors on-site.  It was about 3 hour of shooting and we were basically done by noon.  No interaction with the main actors; matter-of-fact, the casting agency warns us about not posing, taking pictures, approaching, etc the actors while on set.

My recent episode, which I shoot this past Friday, is called "Ua Hiki Mai Kapalena Pau."
Not sure when it airs or even the story behind it but this was a much more fun episode to shoot.  There were only about 10 of us extras that pose as business workers at an office.  I was chosen to be the one waiting for the elevator and as soon as the elevator opens, McGarret and Chin walk out and I walk into the elevator.  Simple and straight forward but the fun stuff was in-between takes.  I was able to talk and laugh with Daniel Dae Kim and Alex O'Loughlin.  Funny guys!  We were asked to arrive at 9 am, but didn't start shooting until about 3 pm.  What did I do for 6 hours you ask?  Well, they stuck us in a room full of food, snacks, and drinks.  Occasionally the main actors came in to take a break etc, but all of us gave them their space in fear that we'd be asked to leave given the warning NOT to approach them.

Overall, my experiences on Hawaii Five-O have been fun, not to mention  I've made a lot of new friends.  Future episodes...possibly, hopefully, most likely.

It's Official!

Keaolani has been accepted to Island Pacific Academy!  We received her acceptance letter last week and are very excited!  Now, we're just going to take advantage of her time at home before she goes to school.

What's Jr. Kindergarten you ask?  Yeah, I had that same question.  What I found out is that, at least at IPA, Jr. Kindergarten is similar to kindergarten with just the age differences.  JK is for 4 year olds, as kindergarten is for 5 year olds.  It's not the same as preschool either as they stay in school for 7 hours and within those 7 hours, are actually learning.  They even start a foreign language at that grade - I believe Hawaiian is the first.

One of the benefits that Mike has as a teacher at IPA, is that he's allowed one-tuition free enrollment, so Keaolani gets to go to a private school for free!  Chee-Hoo!!! If you ask Keaolani, she's very excited to commute with her daddy!  Praising God for answering our prayers!

The Burden of my Heart

Usually I blog about recent events of my family or myself but today I feel the need to relay my heart and the burden of my heart.  For several months now, I have lifted several of my brothers and their families, on the mainland, as they pass thru the trials of cancer; one family in particular is very close to us and it literally kills my spirit at times to not be there physically for them.  Then recently I was made aware that another sister at our home church in CA is battling with breast cancer; this sister, who I call "auntie" because of the fondness we have for her; she is very dear and precious to me.  She has been there thru the difficult times with Keaolani and my own health.  I have tried to contact her recently but found out last night she has been in the hospital for almost a week now due to the affects of the chemo and an infection.


Yes, my heart is heavy and burden to be physically there with my brothers and sisters but I know the resolution lies only in my kneeling before our Heavenly Father and Great Physician.   It would be wonderful to physically be there but what benefit lies solely in "being there."  The greater thing is to go to the One who is able, if it is His perfect Will, to heal.


On another note, the body here on the island is not immune to hospitalization as we learned that one of the members at IGC has been in the hospital since last Thursday.  I was able to visit this dear sister, who I also call "Aunty", on Saturday and what a special time that was for me.  And though I was able to physically be there for her, I know, the greater thing still is to go before our Loving Savior.

"But certainly God has heard;

         He has given heed to the voice of my prayer. 

    Blessed be God,

         Who has not turned away my prayer

         Nor His lovingkindness from me"

Psalm 66:19, 20

Visitors from the Mainland

Whew!  What a month February was; I would say one of my favorites since we moved here - reason being, February was full of visitors from the mainland - close family and friends that came to visit.  Every weekend, except for the third, was filled with laughter, sightseeing, beaches, and local grindz.  Matter-of-fact, one of the restaurants that we took almost every guest, now knows us by name.  

So let's start with the first weekend of February.. Jen Harris, a long, long time friend of mine (since we were in kindergarten) came alone to visit for the weekend.  The trip initially included her almost 2-year-old son but her husband graciously offered for her to have the weekend kid-free.  She arrived on a Thursday night and we meet her at our town's local restaurant, Zippy's.  After dinner, my husband and daughter headed home and Jenny and I stayed at Zippy's talking, laughing, crying til almost 2 am.  We headed home and talked for a couple of more hours.  That night, we only had about 2 hours of sleep.

The following morning we headed out to Boots and Kimo's for their famous banana-macadamia nut pancake.  Our next stop, Kailua beach.  The next morning, we meet up with some friends and enjoyed some Romy's Shrimp truck, North Shore style and then drove around the east shore to Lanikai and meet more friends for some fun in the sun.  The sun was out, the water was warm, the company a delight.  That evening, we enjoyed some huge organic burgers from The Counter.  Wow, I'm getting full just writing down all the eatery places we went to.  And that's only 2 days of her visit.

The next day, after church, she and our other friend from the mainland, Michelle, went shopping.  I went home and caught up with some much needed rest.  That evening, we met up at Hapa Grill, in my town and had a ladies night out.  We ended the night with an appropriate dessert - Beard Papas..We all hung out at a coffee shop until the store closed.  The very next morning, Jen left early to catch her flight home.  I don't even recall if we slept that last night.  Definitely one of the funniest weekend.

The following weekend, we were visited by our dear friends and fellow ministry leaders from CA, Erwin and Becky.  They arrived Friday afternoon.  Had dinner with the Palompos and joined us for our young adult bible study CORE.  Becky even helped us lead worship, just like old times.

The next day, we headed for the Dole Plantation for some pineapple whip and then to the North Shore for some big wave action.  For dinner, we met up with the Palompos and two of our CORE friends at Da Kitchen for some ono grindz...broke' da mout'!

After dinner, we strolled around Ala Moana mall and then ended the night with some Malasadas from Leanord's.  Sunday, after church, we headed out to Lanikai again.  This time, the weather was a bit "chill" so we just sat and chilled out.

The following day, Erwin and Becky left for a couple of days at Waikiki to celebrate their anniversary.

The last weekend, my family made a detour and stopped by for several days on their way to the PI.  This was an exciting weekend, especially for my daughter, who couldn't wait to see her Mama and Papa, her aunty Sha and uncle Peter.  The 5 days that they were here went by fast.  I was especially excited that they would be able to attend an IGC service; they were able to witness one of the reasons why we moved to the islands.  We brought them to the local places and did some sight seeing but their main reason was to spend time with us, with Keaolani.  Here are some places we took them:

Dinner with her Aunty Sha at Da Kitchen

My family at the Dole Plantation; Dad and Keaolani's favorite Pineapple Whip

In CA, her Aunty and Uncle use to bring her to the park to feed the ducks, in Hawaii...Koi fish

Dancing hula with her Uncle

Pineapple Princesses

At Pali Lookout - not so windy that day.

With Mama and Papa

Chillin' with Papa

Posing with Mama

Chillin with the turtles

Daily Blessings: God's Perfect Timing

It's been awhile since I posted a daily blessings, mainly because the month of February has been such a busy month.  We've had many a daily blessings, such as the number of special mainland visitors we've had, but I did have to take some time this morning to give an account of a recent event - a daily blessing.

This past Wednesday, Michael and I took our long awaited anniversary dinner (you can also add a late Valentines).  Oh, before I go on, I don't want anyone thinking that it's any of Michael's fault why the lateness of our date nights.  We initially wanted to celebrate our anniversary (which was January 2nd) back in January however Michael got sick and we weren't able to go and then life just got busy and suddenly we found ourselves in February.  Celebrating Valentine's later was MY idea as I am not very fond of crowds; I don't see the romance in a crowded restaurant.  Just wanted to make that clear before anyone gets the idea that Michael is not taking good care of me. (LOL!)

Okay, so back to my story...  Awhile back, a gracious sister gave us a gift card to Roy's Restaurant - so we wanted to try out one of the Roy's here on the island.  We decided to go to the Roy's in Hawaii Kai - about 30 minutes from where we live, basically on the other side of the island.  Yeah, kinda of far for island standards but we really wanted to feel like we were "getting away."  We took our time and had a really nice dinner (I'll post about that at a later time); spend several hours just talking and enjoying each other.

We headed home about 9:00 pm and needed to get some gas before we picked up Keaolani; at the gas station we noticed that our car was having a little bit of problem starting but we eventually made it to our friend's condo in Ko'Olina.  As we were getting ready to go home, our car wouldn't start...Oh my!!!  Our dear brother Ron came out to help us, even tried to jump start the car thinking it was the battery.  Car wouldn't start.  A neighbor came out and stated it might be a problem with the starter.  So to make a long story short, we called our insurance company and had them tow our car back to our home.  Ron graciously took us home.

Blessing #1: While we were waiting for the tow truck to arrive, I kept thinking how timely God was because our car actually made it to Ko'Olina (less than 10 minutes from where we live).  Had our car broken down in Hawaii Kai, it would have been a lot harder and would have taken a lot longer to get home.

Blessing #2:  Yesterday was spent looking for a repair shop and praise God, we found a guy who seemed to know his stuff; matter-of-fact, after I told him what was going on, he suspected that it wasn't the starter but rather the battery.  He said he could fit us in on Friday (today); just have our car towed again to his shop, which, praise God again, it in the same town we live in.

Blessing #3:  This morning, I called several tow companies to get our car towed to Raf's shop - the quotes we got were well over $100.  Michael had the idea to try to start the car up again - to our surprise and delight, the car actually started - another indication that it's the battery and not the starter.  God saved us another $100.  So Michael drove the car to the shop instead.  We're just awaiting for the diagnosis.

Looking back, we see God's perfect timing and providence handling this latest adventure in our lives.  Not to mention His loving kindness, protection, and provision.  To Him be the glory!

(Notice the image of the clock; doesn't it look like it's lifting it's hands in praise!! :) )

Daily Blessings: Good Health, Got Hula?

After 2 years of not being able to do anything physical, I was able to return to hula today.  And boy, did my atrophy muscles get a work out.  I've been desiring to go back to hula for quite a long time now but because of my physical health, I knew it to be wise to obstain.  It was just in recent months, I felt strong and healthy enough to go back to one of my favorite things to do - dance.

The Halau (hula group) I found is in my home town; they dance both the auana (modern hula) and the kahiko (ancient hula) and focus on the culture and language, as well as other polynesian dances, like tahitian.

And as I sit here, with feelings of lactic acid building in my muscles, I give thanks to the Lord for my health.

 But what can I say? 

   He has spoken to me, and he himself has done this. 

I will walk humbly all my years 

   because of this anguish of my soul. 

Lord, by such things people live; 

   and my spirit finds life in them too. 

You restored me to health 

   and let me live. 

Isaiah 38: 15,16

New Posts: Daily Blessings - Kk's admission to school

It's been awhile since I posted anything new; I've been working on some things but not quite ready to post however, due to recent events, I wanted to start posting a new section on what God has been doing daily in our lives.  Two main reasons why in doing so: 1.  To give an account of God's goodness and to give Him all the glory, and 2. To show that there is a God and that He does care for His children.

If you would have asked me a year ago about private schools, it would not have been an option for us, mainly for the cost.  But because Mike works for a private school and he is given one tuition free, we thought it be best to send our daughter to his school.  We actually attended an open house a couple of months ago at his school and boy was I impressed.  I wanted to attend school there.  The class sizes are about 15 students per teacher and not only are they exposed to the basic english, math, science courses, pre-K and kindergarten classes have their own computer labs (which would rival a college computer lab), and are taught a different language/culture every year.

So today we turned in her application for admissions and by this afternoon, we received an email that she will have an interview/assessment this Saturday.  The added blessing in this email, we were told that the admission fee was waived.  How gracious is our God!

"We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that He has done" (Psalm 78:4)

Late Post: New Years Eve Chaos

Better late then never; wanted to comment on how Hawaii celebrates New Year's - two words: Organized Chaos.  Yeah, that seems like an oxymoron BUT if you ever witnessed the events that day, you would agree with me.

I have to admit that we were warned but until I saw it with my very own eyes, I was still skeptical.   I should have known when a month earlier, we first had a glimpse of what was to come.  We were sitting at home during the evening when we heard and FELT a big explosion; the shock wave was so powerful that it set off all the car alarms in our neighborhood.  Thinking that it was a bomb or fire explosion, we ran out to our lanai to find out what was going on; we didn't see nothing, we didn't hear fire trucks, we didn't see people running in hysteria - the scene outside was uneventful.  The about a week later, we hear another explosion; by this time, our 4-year-old daughter was not amused - more terrified to be exact.  This one was stronger and actually rattled our windows.  What in the world was going on.  That weekend I mentioned it to a dear sister who's been here for more than a year and she simply explained, "Oh those are fireworks."  WHAT!!  FIREWORKS!!  Needless to say, the whole month of December were filled with surprising, random acts of explosion.

So fast forward to New Years Eve, we woke up in the morning to fire crackers, not as loud as the explosions BUT these lasted a good minute or so.  Nice.  And yes, you guessed it, they lasted all day.  Our plans for the evening was to hang out at the Espiritus; we left our cozy town around 6 pm and made the 20 minute drive to Central Oahu.  That 20 minute drive gave me a glimpse of what it would be like to drive thru a war zone.  This was a whole new experience for us as we are from CA and fireworks have been banned for several years now; but these fireworks were beyond the sparklers and bottle rocks I remember in my youth - we're talking about the big ones launched at an amusement park or sports stadiums - but these ones were launched in random neighborhoods as we made our way to Mililani.  It was definitely a site to see.

As we arrived to the house, I can tell the dads and the kids were ready to launch their own pyrotechnic display of chaos and with no further ado:

Unfortunately I tried to post a video of the chaos but blogspot isn't allowing me to at this moment.

One thing that was different was that we normally watched the countdown to the new year via TV, for example watch the ball being dropped in New York.  This year, we were outside and launched our fireworks at countdown.  Overall this experience has been amazing, crazy, and definitely memorable! Happy New Year (belated!)

Books I'm Currently Enjoying

For the new year, I've picked up two new books and I must say I'm enjoying both of them; at times, I'm torn as to which I want to read.  The first book is called Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney and the second one The Book on Leadership by John MacArthur.

I'm reading Feminine Appeal for our women's bible study at IGC; the first time I read it, I read 3 chapters and would have gone further had I not reminded myself that we're only going to discuss the first chapter in our meeting this month.

The second book, The Book on Leadership, is more for leisure however, it's become more than that.  As I read it for the first time, yesterday, I found myself engulf in the story about Paul and Nehemiah and the qualities they possessed as godly leaders.  I'll elaborate more on these books at a later posting.  If you have a chance and in search of new books to read, I would definitely recommend these two books.

Lead me to the rock that is higher than I

Sleep seem to escape me these past few nights and as a result, my mind has been scattered and my heart faint.  I know, in these times, I need to run to the Word of God, less I allow my mind to wonder and set on things that are neither profitable for me nor encouraging.  I suspect several things that have burdened my heart - a husband fighting an infection, a good friend battling with cancer, dear and close friends moving away, not to mention the daily battles of sin and sanctification.  Such things can easily overwhelm me and I MUST, I NEED to cling to "the rock that is higher than I" (and might I add, higher than any situation that may come my way.)

So I run to an ever familiar verse in times such as this:

"Hear my cry, O God; Give heed to my prayer.  From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.  For You have been a refuge for me, A tower of strength against the enemy.  Let me dwell in Your tent forever; let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings."  Psalm 61:1-4